#5 Death


The state of things to come.

Kev and I are working on some pretty cool stuff for the site, so for those of you who have found us already, sit tight. There's more to come.

If I get any ideas for a post tonight, I'll be sure to put them up.

End Transmission.

#4 115 MP Camera

The site is currently undergoing some maintanance in the appearance department. We're messing around with a few things and trying to end up with something we like.

So anyways I thought I'd put something up in the morning today, becuase I'll be way too busy later on to get back on the www-train. I recently came across a page about this guy Mike Golembewski, who turned his old scanner into a 115 megapixel camera. All the pictures seem to be morphed in weird ways. His site explains why the camera does this, has a gallery of some of his shots, and even a step by step guide on how he put it together so you can turn your scanner into a creepy photo machine. Definitely check it out.

In case you're new to the internet, here's REJECTED.

BONUS! Yesterday the Steeler's won the SuperBowl, 21-10. I had bet on the Seahawks, but then I was forced to go with Pittsburgh. Now I get a special prize.


Wow It's WoW.


Note: To gain the full effect of reading this post, I ask you please play this song as you read.

Inhalent- Level 48 Orc Hunter - Invictus
Poplocka- Level 59 Troll Mage - Invictus

Warcraft is a mix of the two big H's; Heroin and Herpes.

How so you ask?
Well allow me to briefly explain.

-Heroin is something that you rapidly become addicted to as soon as it enters your system.
-Warcraft is something you rapidly become addicted to as soon as its installed on your system.

-Herpes is something that can easily be contracted through direct physical contact. If one person in an intament relationhip has herpes, the other is likely to contract it.
-Warcraft can easily be contracted through direct gameplay or "over the shoulder" game play. My ex-girlfriend [Who should be used for human target practice] and I had a close relationship [or atleast I thought so], she now plays Warcraft.

-Heroin is popular among certain groups or cliques, and when put under peer-pressure, coupled with natural curiosity, one could be talked into paeticipating in such activites.
-Warcraft is popular among a very nerdy/geeky group/clique, and if faced with extreme bordem, you may end up hanging out with someone who habitually plays it (such as myself), thereby you steadily gain interest as they talk endlessly about things suchs as "grinding," "instances," and "phat lewt." Eventually your curiosity will overwhelm your better judgement and you too will become one of those nerds.

-Both Herpes and Heroin cost money for their own respective reasons (Medication, Getting your "fix").
- Warcraft costs $15 per month.

-Herpes can sometimes exist with no symptoms for months at a time, but no matter what, you have herpes forever.
-You can take as many "breaks" as you want from warcraft, but you know when that new patch comes out, your logging on.

-Heroin can kill you.
-Warcraft kills babies.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg, the plague of WoW goes much deeper and becomes far more troubling. But for those of you who don't know, you don't want to know.

I'm off to spend another countless amount of hours playing, I need my fix too, and I think I'm having an outbreak.

End Transmission.

Gum: Modern Society's Downfall.

With the ever-increasing prices of cigarettes becoming a painful thorn in the side of addiction-prone morons nationwide (and those who attempt to give off the false impression that they are "cool"), many have turned to alternative products to quench their undying impulse to occupy their mouths. A new trend has been gradually gaining speed, much to the disliking of model citizens such as myself. Seemingly harmless with simple yet effective marketing schemes, the widespread sale of this malicious product has sparked utter epidemic and general stickiness.

Gum is becoming the new terrible addiction in modern society. Few days pass where the words "Does anyone have some gum," "Can I have a piece of that gum," "Give me some gum, douchenozzle," or "Sweet Jesus, I need some fucking gum right now!" aren't spoken. In fact, I hear people begging for these overly-chewy sugar snacks many times during the day: people from all backgrounds and genders. It's quite frightening, and I can't understand all of the commotion over a small, pale, rubbery substance whose unimaginative original flavor is replaced within moments by a disgusting, stale, plastic taste and tooth decay.

Despite the fact that gum is the root of all evil, people have become utterly dependent on gum. One anonymous interviewee, who I will refer to here on this public format only as "Wrigley" to protect his/her identity, recounts his/her tragic addiction to gum: "I was just a casual chewer before I got into Orbit [gum]. Now I'm up to a pack a day. It gives me that clean feeling. *sob*" Wrigley's excessive gum chewing is also taking the toll on her relationship with friends and family. As Wrigley's sister explains, "It's getting to the point where her addiction is becoming embarrassing. She can just talk to people, and by the scent on her breath they think to themselves, 'That girl chews'." It certainly reflects negatively upon those close to her.

Some Noobs Chewing It Up
Pictured above is "Wrigley" with two of her friends, merrily chewing away, little do they know the fate that awaits them.

Where does gum originate? Well, back in the good old times, Neanderthals [See: Highschool Football] found great comfort in chewing on chunks of pure tar. I can admit that gum has come a long way in terms of flavor since then. It's not like I've tasted tar, though. But excuse me for digressing. The point is, Neanderthals started the trend of chewing. Is that who you want your kids looking up to, parents? Neanderthals? If that's the case, then society is surely going to collapse, and we're all going to de-evolve within decades, infact, I'll bet George W. Bush is a chewer. Well, so much for 4.4 million years of progress. You might as well sell off your Gucci/Louis Vuitton apparel for stockpiles of loincloths right now. Don't worry about property values, either. Be prepared to sell off your homes for a couple sticks, ten shells, and half of a bird's nest, and get your belongings ready to drag into your new home: a cave. Do you really want to live in a cave? Yeah? You want to be eaten by a bear? Keep chewing gum.

People like Wrigley are also obviously those responsible for sticking gum under chairs and desks, and to the floors of movie theaters. Gum-chewers are foul people, leaving their waste in every possible place. It's entirely gross and self-serving. It is this mentality that is chewing away at the key structural points of our society [Pun obviously intended]. If there is no immediate intervention, we may see our modern culture collapse to its shaky and bruised knees, much attuned to the legend of Ye Olde Castle of Fermented Grits. "If I had no access to gum," Wrigley confessed, "I would most-likely literally combust in a ball of sticky flames." Great, look what you've done now, gum. All I needed was a smoldering corpse stinking up my afternoon.

"That girl chews."

But then, there is the possibility that this "blogger" may feel left out of the gum craze. Maybe all this reporter needs is a delicious piece of gum from a caring friend. So next time you toss your gum on the table, maybe take the extra step and say "Hey, Gene, want some gum?" That's all it may take to make the world a happier place, or we're all going to die a hubba bubba death.

Oh hey, I'm V!RUS by the way, co-founder of t3h 1336 1337. I primarily go by "Inhalent" now, but whatever you prefer, the world is your oyster.

End Transmission.

#3 Test Video

Steve Martin hosted Saturday Night Live last night and suprisingly enough, I was only partially amused. But I'm still in a SNL mood, and I'm experimenting with video, so it seems there's no better time than now for Taco Town. Enjoy.


#2 Clan Stats

Not much happening today in the world of pwnage so I thought I'd talk a bit about our clan, TEH 1337 1336. We are a non-sponsored, non-profit group with 12 members from around the world. Some would call us a "linear" clan, due to the fact that we are up for any challenge, no matter the game/place/time/opponents. You could say you want to play a 4v4 traditional 1.6 de_dust match, or perhaps you could opt for a more widescaled 8v8 Halo 2 oddball no-radar infinate grenade Coagulation game, or even a 1 on 1 Tetris: Mobile stake out. What ever you want, how you want it, and when you want it. Before each match begins, we generously grant you with a Certificate of About-to-be-PWNT (see picture below), a warning of the amount of pwnage that will actually take place in the following seconds, and a chance to surrender with a loss, to avoid humiliation.

After all this talk about how impressive we really are, I'm sure you're wondering who the individual 1337's are. Well wonder no longer my friends! Here is a list showing our top members' names IRL, in-game names, and favorite game.

So there you have it, TEH 1337 1336.
The greatest clan to roam the servers.
Untill next time, so long everyone!

Note: If you would like to issue a challenge, please send an email to ecoplex@gmail.com with the title: "CLAN MATCH."


#1 Welcome

This is the very first post on Teh Pwn Zwn. (thə-ōn-zōn) TPZ is the newest, and oddly enough, most popular blog in all of the internet. Run mainly by a panel of select geniuses, it features an array of fascinating stories having to do with pwning and the world of technology, in-depth product review and analysis, and the occasional off-topic rant/rave. Over 200 billion people have already subscribed to the RSS feed of this very page! Hopefully you too can become a part of the marvelous world that is
The Pwn Zwn.